


As Real as the Stars

by emerald1963



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Dorky metaphors, First Dates, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-06
Updated: 2015-08-06
Packaged: 2018-04-13 05:52:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4510290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emerald1963/pseuds/emerald1963
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"...Of course, he thinks nervously as he knocks on the door, it’s not too late for Tsukishima to decide that this was a mistake after all. Maybe after tonight he’ll think they’re better off as friends, or just not spending time together at all, maybe he’ll- No way, Tadashi, we’re not going there, he tells himself firmly. He’s always had those little worries in the back of his head, telling him all about how he could never be good enough, but in the end Tsukki chose him, right? This’ll be fine.</p>
<p>The door opens, and he gulps."</p>
            </blockquote>





	As Real as the Stars

**Author's Note:**

> *whispers hello I haven't published anything in forever yes I am still alive*
> 
> I wrote this for the birthday of my really great friend Shao Li! I hope you enjoy it and I'm really sorry it's late <3
> 
> Also I'm sorry that I'm terrible at titles

Tadashi bounces nervously on the Tsukishima family’s doorstep, feeling like a stranger despite the hundreds of times he’s stood in this same spot. His suit feels strange against his skin, scratchy and starchy; he’s clutching his bouquet of daffodils so tightly that he can almost hear the stems screaming in protest. He’d kind of like to scream too, just quietly, to let off some steam. After years of pining and stolen glances and giving far more attention than he thought he’d ever get, he’s finally going out on his first date with Tsukishima. He still doesn’t really understand how any of this happened, his mind still hasn’t processed the thought that, of all things, _Tsukishima confessed first…_ But it’s not a mistake, and it’s not a joke. Tsukki would never do that to him. This is real. He thinks.

...Of course, he thinks nervously as he knocks on the door, it’s not too late for Tsukishima to decide that this was a mistake after all. Maybe after tonight he’ll think they’re better off as friends, or just not spending time together at all, maybe he’ll- _No way, Tadashi, we’re not going there,_ he tells himself firmly. He’s always had those little worries in the back of his head, telling him all about how he could never be good enough, but in the end Tsukki chose him, right? This’ll be fine.

The door opens, and he gulps.

Tsukishima is standing there, and for just a second, Tadashi can’t breathe. He looks so _good,_ in a light blue dress shirt and tan slacks- and Tadashi thinks to himself that of course a suit was going to be overkill for the occasion and now he’s probably ridiculously overdressed and Tsukishima will scoff and tell him to go home and change, but even that thought doesn’t carry its usual level of panic, because Tsukki looks _beautiful_ like this. And as he’s thinking this, Tsukishima’s eyes widen imperceptibly and his lips twitch up just a tiny bit, not in his usual mocking smirk but in the smallest possible genuine smile. It’s enough to make Tadashi melt, but all Tsukishima says is “Really, Yamaguchi?”, quirking a brow, and Tadashi bites the inside of his lip hard.

“Sorry, Tsukki,” he says quickly, “I just wanted to look nice- I mean, not that you don’t look nice even though you’re not as dressed up as me, you look perfect, um-”

“Yamaguchi,” Tsukishima cuts him off firmly, and Tadashi feels his gaze drawn up to the other boy’s eyes. “It’s fine. You look... nice.” 

“Oh, okay! I’m glad you think so!” It’s funny how just those words, even if they aren’t in a tone any more enthusiastic than Tsukishima’s usual deadpan, are enough to make him giddy. He suddenly remembers his flowers and thrusts them at Tsukishima. “I… I got you some daffodils…” He’d spent hours last night looking up flower language on the Internet, trying to pick the perfect bouquet. One of the meanings of daffodils is unrequited love, which is _not at all_ what he wants, but they can also mean _The sun is always shining when I’m with you,_ and Tadashi thinks that fits, in a way. Well, maybe Tsukki’s more like the moon, but his light is enough to fill Tadashi’s world, right? He doesn’t explain any of this to Tsukishima, instead holding out the flowers a little awkwardly, feeling the blood rush to his cheeks. 

Tsukishima takes the flowers, examining them closely, and Tadashi can feel his heart beating a little faster, intensely conscious of the bruised places on the stems where he’d been squeezing them too hard and the slightly wilted edges of some of the petals. They’re far from a perfect offering, he thinks nervously. But Tsukishima doesn’t comment, instead laying them gently aside on a side table and saying “Thanks, Yamaguchi,” a little more quietly than usual. “I didn’t get you anything…”

“Ah, it’s fine, Tsukki! I didn’t really think you would!” he replies, maybe being a little more honest than he should be, judging from the slightly startled expression on Tsukishima’s face. The conversation stops there for a second, and Tadashi swallows hard, suddenly feeling hopelessly awkward. Did he say something wrong? Did Tsukishima take that as an insult? He didn’t mean anything by it- Tsukishima just isn’t really the type of person to make romantic gestures, Tadashi figures. It’s not like that’s a problem for him, he would date Tsukishima with or without flowers. But does Tsukishima think he meant something by it? After a little while, he ventures, “Sorry, Tsukki…”

Tsukishima quirks an eyebrow, seemingly drawn out of thought. “Don’t apologize for nothing, Yamaguchi. You didn’t do anything.”

“Sor-” Tadashi starts to say, cutting himself off self-consciously. His cheeks are heating up. Can’t he do anything right? “Um. Should we go?”

Tsukishima nods and steps out the door. The air feels strange around the two of them- slightly colder than it should be, and buzzing with tension. Tadashi keeps sneaking glances at Tsukishima’s face as they walk down the street together, on the way to the restaurant that’s their destination for the night. He’s trying to read him, figure out the missing element that’s somehow made things so awkward between them. The closest he can come is that, for some reason, Tsukki is holding back… But why would he do that? When he looks for the answer in Tsukishima’s face, it’s as distant and unreadable as the moon. 

Tadashi slows his pace a little, moves an inch or two farther away from Tsukishima. He tries to fill the silence with chatter about the restaurant, which he chose due to its reputation for having the best strawberry shortcake in Miyagi, but his usual bright patter rings just slightly hollow, thudding heavily into the space between them. Whatever’s missing, Tadashi can’t replace it like this.

Then Tadashi starts in shock as he feels the back of Tsukishima’s hand brush itself against his. His first impulse is to pull his hand away and apologize for bumping into Tsukki, but before he can, there’s the hand again, knocking against his insistently, turning over and threading its fingers through his, and _oh_. 

When he looks up at Tsukishima, the other boy is looking away with an air of studied disinterest, but Tadashi sees the pink dusting his cheeks and he thinks he understands what’s going on. Tsukki’s just nervous, isn’t he? Just like Tadashi, but with a different way of showing it. Tadashi actually skips for a few steps- “Hey, don’t run ahead like that, Yamaguchi.” “Sorry, Tsukki!”- before calming down and returning to his steadier pace. His conversation still bubbles on, but instead of falling flat it bounces and skips through the silence between them. Tsukishima still doesn’t reply, really, but it’s not that he doesn’t care- he’s just feeling the same butterflies that Tadashi’s been feeling all evening. Tadashi is really important enough to Tsukishima that the other boy has _butterflies_ , over _him_. He feels like he could float.

Despite this, their dinner at the restaurant starts to feel a little strained. It’s _hard_ to keep up a conversation when you’re the only person participating, and while Tadashi’s fairly used to it from his years of friendship with the taciturn Tsukishima, he usually gets a little more back than this. Even when he’s not into the conversation, Tsukishima will usually hum, nod his head, at least _look_ at Tadashi to let him know he’s invested. But today Tadashi’s not getting much more than a jerky, mechanical bob of his head as a response, even when he brings up things he knows Tsukishima is interested in, like the newest exhibit in the natural history museum. The only thing that keeps him from worrying that something really is wrong, that he’s about to be dumped, is Tsukishima’s foot gently nudging his under the table, staying stock still but reassuringly there. It’s a reminder that no matter how awkward things have gotten, Tsukishima’s here for a reason.

Dinner ends with strawberry shortcake, of course, and Tadashi can actually see Tsukishima’s nervousness melting away, the other boy too distracted by the taste to stop and worry about the circumstances. Tadashi grins fondly at the expression on Tsukishima’s face- it’s not exactly a smile so much as it is a slight glow that lurks around the corners of his mouth and deep within his eyes as he fixates on the food. It’s one of Tadashi’s favorite looks to see on Tsukki, and his secret hope is that someday he’ll see that expression on Tsukki’s face because of him. By the time they’re walking out of the restaurant, Tsukki’s gotten the courage up to hold his hand again, and Tadashi can feel the smile radiating off his own face.

That is, until he looks up at the sky. He’d anticipated it being cloudless tonight, somehow- well, in your dreams of a first date, everything always goes perfectly, doesn’t it? The birds are singing, there are smiles and rainbows everywhere, and the sky is perfectly clear. Unfortunately, he can see thick blankets of cloud on the horizon, showing up clearly against the dark sky. He hurries up his pace as he walks the two of them to the park, racing the clouds, but by the time they get to the spot he’d planned, they’ve covered most of the sky, leaving only small patches of navy blue. 

Tadashi bites his lip and turns to Tsukishima. “Sorry, Tsukki… I thought we could go star-gazing, but I guess it won’t work.” He sighs a little. “I should have checked the forecast, huh?”

Tsukishima actually _gulps_ \- Tadashi looks on in wonder and a little worry, he’s never seen that before- and takes a deep breath, then lets it out again with a whoosh.

“What’s wrong, Tsukki?” Tadashi asks, worried, wondering if the other boy is really that disappointed.

Tsukishima takes another deep breath and twitches a bit, then seems to regain control of himself. “No, let’s stay,” he says, surprising Tadashi. “It’s a nice night, and…” He pauses, then continues. “Yeah, it’s a nice night.”

A little confused but happy, Tadashi lies back, taking his suit jacket and using it as a pillow- yeah, his white shirt might get grass stains, but he doesn’t mind at all. He feels Tsukishima lie down next to him, stiff in the tall grass, and decides to be bold- this time it’s his hand that slips into Tsukishima’s, and Tsukishima’s hand that squeezes back shakily. 

They stare up at the dark sky, clouds threatening rain but luckily holding back and refusing to make good on the threat. It actually is kind of pretty, Tadashi reflects- the clouds aren’t a uniform, misty covering; instead, they billow and bulge. “If it were daytime and we could see better, we could find cloud shapes and say what they remind us of,” he says idly to Tsukishima, whose hand is a little cold in his but gripping his fingers tightly.

“Oh well,” Tsukishima shrugs. “We can do it another day.”

“I am sorry I didn’t plan better. I really thought looking at the stars would be nice, but…” Tadashi’s voice trails off into uncertain silence. He’s doubting himself again- if he can’t even plan a date, if he can’t even stop Tsukki from being nervous and uncomfortable the whole time, how can he make Tsukki happy?

Tsukishima makes a sudden movement at his side, and Tadashi flinches for a second, startled, but the other boy has just rolled onto his side, propping himself up on one elbow so he can use his other hand to lightly trace over Tadashi’s face. “It’s okay,” he says, blushing so brightly that Tadashi can see it even in the dark, voice a little strangled. “You bring the stars with you, anyway.”

“What?” Tadashi’s not sure he understands, not sure that the Tsukishima Kei he’s known for years could really just have said something that _cute_. 

Tsukishima tenses even more, and he’s practically stuttering now. “Y-your freckles- they’re like the stars, aren’t they?” He brushes a finger lightly over the bridge of Tadashi’s suddenly overheating nose, settling on a spot on his left cheek. “This one here has always looked like Canis Major to me… and on your arm there’s a spot that looks a lot like Aquarius… It’s, ah, very cute...” He leaves his finger resting lightly on Tadashi’s cheek, seemingly too embarrassed to move at all after he stops talking. 

Tadashi blinks up at Tsukishima’s terminally embarrassed face and he feels his heart burst a little with love and pride. After all his worrying and awkwardness, Tsukishima managed to say something like that, just for him? “Tsukki, that was so _romantic_ ,” he says, voice sounding a little surprised to his own ears but mostly incredibly pleased. “You’re so cute…”

Tsukishima takes his hand off Tadashi’s face like he’s been stung and uses it to cover his own face. “Shut up, Yamaguchi,” he says, voice muffled.

“Sorry, Tsukki,” Tadashi grins. He’s not sorry at all, of course. Just incredibly happy. A few seconds later, he speaks again. “It’s okay, you don’t have to push yourself to say things like that. I know what you mean anyway.” They know each other well enough for that, he thinks- he can read Tsukishima after all this time and all this friendship. Even if it sometimes takes him a while, like it did today, he always understands Tsukishima in the end.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Yamaguchi,” Tsukishima snaps, still from behind his hand. “I’m your boyfriend, and I…” his voice gets even more muffled- did he jam his hand into his mouth or something, Tadashi wonders- “I really like you. You should hear it.”

Tadashi beams, bright enough to light up the night. He knew he was right to give Tsukishima those daffodils- here in the middle of the cloudy dark, the sun is shining. “I like you too, Tsukki. I like you a lot. Don’t worry, I get it.” He sits up, peeling Tsukishima’s hand off his face, making Tsukishima look at him. 

Tsukishima looks away obstinately. “You deserve to hear how important you are,” he mutters.

“Hey, Tsukki, it’s okay,” Tadashi soothes. “I know you like me. I can tell.” Sure, there are worries in the back of his head, he mentally adds, but he knows how to tell them to go away. He knows what’s really true. “Come here,” he says, and guides them tentatively into a kiss.

They’re still a little awkward as their lips glide together, and they bump their tongues clumsily into each other as they try to deepen the kiss. They part laughing, though, and when they try again it’s just a little bit better. It’s not perfect, but what is? It’s real, which is even better. They’re real, and somewhere inside him, Tadashi thinks they always will be, no matter how shy they are, no matter how long they have to practice to figure things out. They’re as real as the stars.

**Author's Note:**

> For questions, comments, angry vitriol, marriage offers, or anything else, please come find me at [oikawatooruinedmylife](oikawatooruinedmylife.tumblr.com) on tumblr or [@iwachansbiceps](https://twitter.com/iwachansbiceps) on twitter! Thanks for reading, as always!


End file.
